narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
airagorn: dumb story because i think i’m funny we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered ‘hot wheels’
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
partybarackisinthehousetonight: mermaidpirate: partybarackisinthehousetonight: if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check Did you really just call Mount Olympus a hill? sorry. BIG hill
cofeecigarettes: cj-twig: i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem basically you want to be a father this is the most accurate thing i ever read
twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck: happybutts: peacocks look like they speak french
kissmycatastrophe: buttlicked: You’re bad at grammar? *pats u on shoulder* their, they’re, there. I JUST SPIT MY CEREAL ALL OVER MY COMPUTER
hungarian: it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
mad-manwithablog: spooky-richter: choosing a halloween costume is serious business like do i fandom do i scary do i disney princess if you go as dean winchester you’ll be all three
i never really liked my name much until i found out what it tastes like when you sigh it into my mouth
familyfriendlyurl: i wish pokemon were real cuz then instead of being a shitty blogger id be a shitty ace trainer who stands by the sider of the road wearing sunglasses and a trenchcoat waiting for 10 year olds to pass by so he can challenge them and still gets his ass kicked routinely
i pretend i dont care but deep down i really still dont care
People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of...– Neil Gaiman (via souls-entwined)
nigforaday: I think it’s universally well known that the saddest part of everyone’s childhood was when Chuckie Finster didn’t have a mom to dance with
Capricorn: wow you pissed me off so I'm going to sulk in silence and snap if spoken to
Aquarius: YOU MADE ME UPSET IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD /melts into a dramatic heap
Pisces: I'M GONNA FUCKING THROW THINGS. LIKE THE BIGGEST TANTRUM. YOU HAVE -EVER- SEEN.
Aries: WOW I'M SO MAD for like a second. What's for dinner?
Taurus: BRB SMASHING HEADLONG THROUGH A WALL TO KILL YOU
Gemini: Oh, I'm not mad. Wait. YES I FUCKING AM. Okay maybe not. BUT THEN AGAIN--
Cancer: ...oh. I'm angry. But you'll never know. Tillit'stoolate. Cookie?
Leo: /INDISCERNIBLE NOISES OF RAGE
Virgo: how could you do this to me. how. HOW??? Get out of my life. No wait baby come back...
Libra: Passively plotting your demise.
Scorpio: This'll only sting for a second. Unlike my wounds which'll bleed FOREVER and you'll never hear the end of it. WHIIIINE
Sagittarius: I have to leave before I kill someone. Bye!
algrenion: i think there should be AU’s and then there should be UA’s because Universe Alterations would be a good name for when your characters are in the exact same universe but you’re altering just a couple of plot points or a few character traits
cjhatesboredom: meanwhile in twitter… moments later…
funkycellist: thorin-my-king: getoutoftherecat: the-companions-doctor: sharlina6: Fact of the Day: Cats have unattached collarbones, which means that they can fit through any aperture large enough to accommodate their heads. whenever someone judges me for wanting to be a cat I’ll just direct them to this how do you cat why can’t i cat can you download the cat feature, or….?
theuppitynegras: gllow: a world where gaydar is not an excuse to be ignorant and stereotype but is instead a laser gun developed by years of gay labor that fires powerful radiation waves at the cishet opponent setting them on fire. flaming homosexuals? more like flaming heterosexuals. the cishets are on fire. this is anarchy. *Alicia Keys voice* THAT CISHET IS ON FIIIIIIIIRE!